Do You Think Someone Notices?

I often watch people I know and those I don't, out of interest, nosiness and self validation. At the gym, I look around and wonder, what drives these people? Does the heavy woman walking slowly on the treadmill think she is actually burning any calories? Or is this her first attempt at exercising and therefore should I be commending her for even being here? Is the hot ripped guy self absorbed or did he used to be fat and had to overcome teasing and self doubt for those abs? Does the skinny pretty girl working it on the elliptical subsist on crystal light and water and come everyday no matter how bad the hangover? Or is she just naturally skinny, beautiful and cares only enough to make a once or twice a week gym visit. I often choose the latter option to feel better about my far from daily exercise routine.

Work is another place that baffles my understanding of what motivates people. Why do some people work so much harder than others? Why does everyone look so busy when I pass by their computers? How does one become a "workaholic"? My understanding of the suffix -aholic or -addicted is of an enjoyable activity like drinking or drugs or brownies or sex or entertainment or travel, or more drugs or sex or drinks.

Love I get. Parental, marital, sisterly, brotherly, owner to pet, girl to doll, I get what motivates parents to sit through freezing cold sporting events when their child will never play and get up at all hours of the night to drive drunk teenagers home. Obviously accomplishment, vanity, health, praise, productivity, fear of failure, embarrasment, poverty, disappointment are all possible motivators...but still. A love of spreadsheets? People who get to work unnecessarily early when they know no one will see them come in? Explain these logic-defying acts!

Answering the important questions of the world

A foot-long salami arrived today in a big box with tons of packaging and a thank-you-for-your-business note that made me shake my head disapprovingly because everyone really needs to understand the dire situation our planet is in. Even though I sometimes leave a light on and drive my SUV 90 minutes a week, those are honest mistakes and a lack of choices. I will NOT allow myself to be understanding of these same excuses for anyone else. I began my morning by vigorously pursuing the answers to my many questions about the salami. Who really eats salami? Is it better hot or cold? Why would this upscale food store be sending out gifts in January in a recession (or depression depending on how fatalist you are)? Do they send the salami because nobody is buying it in the store? Since I know we do not shop at this store, why would they bother rewarding us for our non-patronage? Is salami pork or beef? What sort of cheese goes best with salami? After grilling my father for answers while he simultaneously attended to many trivial matters at the office, I wondered, is there a reason I am so fixated on who sent the salami? While pondering this question, my younger brother walked into the room and announced that today was the day for me to set up a blog. With many family, boyfriend, career and world issues on my mind, some totally normal for a 23-year-old girl and some so outrageous I would not need to dramatize a book or movie made about my life at present, how could I attempt to focus this blog in any one direction? Even if I tried to write just about politics, somehow the salami or my hot and cold relationship with exercise or my chapped lips would creep into the posts. Right then, I answered my own question about why I fixate on fermented sausage AND because I am totally unqualified to make the following assumption, I will go ahead and generalize that society also participates in the following behavior. When the future of our planet, national and world economy, political system, safety and security as well as my job, career, personal happiness, family life and health all seem to be uncertain, full of obstacles and painful to deal with, why not fixate on who sent the salami? Insert (into red) celebrity gossip, the Oscar nominations, your Facebook newsfeed, what will happen tonight on ___, the flabby stomach you acquired in December, chapped lips (I cannot find a cure), what restaurant to make a reservation at three weeks from now, the cold weather, whether to take the subway or a cab anywhere, when to take your vacation days, chapped lips, chapped lips, chapped lips.